I've been in and out of therapy for my anxiety condition since my 20s. And, now I'm nearly 50. I still get anxious when I have to set boundaries with people who act petty, or try to take advantage of me, scapegoat me, or verbally abuse me.

Why is it still so scary to set boundaries with people? I deserve to be treated with respect like everyone else. Yet, when people invade my boundaries in different ways, and I hold them accountable for their boundary invasion when I tell them they hurt my feelings etc.,. it feels so scary. And, I don't think it should feel scary since I know I"m standing up for myself.

I notice that really manipulative people HATE IT when I set strong boundaries with them. They try to gaslight me as a result, and tell me I'm too sensitive, or, tell me that I'm overreacting. When the reality is, they don't like that I value myself more than they value me.

Because, if I didn't value myself, I wouldn't set boundaries with people who try to take advantage or act petty or mean. Does anyone else feel this way?