I posted awhile back how I tried to OD on the 11th of March. It was a combination of worry over losing my job, wondering about unemployment benefits (they were fighting me very hard) and how bills were going to be paid. I had also caused damage to my car, about $1,000 worth.

I won unemployment, my dad helped me with some of the bills so the electric wouldn't be shut off, etc. I should have been okay. I have only gotten worse. I am afraid to be awake - I am afraid of me. When I am awake, all I think about is ODing. I have all the pills I need to do it with. I sleep every day till about noon, get up in enough time to get my son from school, and then come home, lay down, make dinner etc. I am usually okay if I am home with my son, but I am still laying down.

I have no energy, could care less about most things including myself. My T wants me in the hospital so I can get centered again. My husband is completely against this and has threatened me that if I attempt to OD again, he will leave and take my son with him.

Every day is struggle to stay alive. I don't know what else it is other than depression, but it is sucking the life out of me.

Any thoughts?

Mary Alice