Quote:
Originally Posted by Purple,Violet,Blue
Sorry you're struggling with this. I've had mostly... all?... female (and short-term ) t's, and I was glad of that. And, past my thirties, I'd have avoided a male one; I'd definitely have sexualised things.
So I completely understand.
It's not your fault.
I'm worried that you might be walking into the agonies of unrequited love here.
Others here have had the opposite, but equally crushing, experience of being sexually and emotionally used by a therapist.
So awful!
Think of it this way. Would a medical doctor who you have to undress in front, be examined by etc ever ever ever for even a millisecond see you in that way?
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Thank you, yes, that perspective also makes sense to me. I do not think I am in love with him, or infatuated, but I do think about him a lot, and imagine doing couply things together such as watching TV. I don't feel like I am smitten with him, but I do sense a lot of sexual tension (on my part) during the conversation, today as well.
At some point, I think in the beginning of the session, he decided to close the blinds a little bit, because the sun was very bright. To pull the strings of the blinds, he walked up to my side of the room next to my chair. He was standing so close, not in an objectively inappropriate way at all, but that was so exciting to me.
Tomorrow morning, I will meet his supervisor (he is under supervision as he is still learning, or perhaps it's common for all therapists, but it's not because of anything out of order).