I have been thinking about something like this for awhile. I seldom smile or laugh anymore. I used to be the funny guy everyone wanted to hang with. But my contracted emotions go in the other direction, too. I virtually never am overcome with sadness anymore. Never cry. It is almost impossible to get any kind of a significant emotional reaction out of me anymore. It's just not there. Doesn't matter what happens.

I have lost everything a person can lose in this life, other than my own physical life. I think this current me is just my soul's way of responding to what it's been asked to deal with. There's really nothing left. It's all gone. So, maybe on some level, nothing really matters at this point. Who really cares? I don't, that's for sure. That's where I am, And it's not a happy place, unfortunately.

The only other thing that does come to mind sometimes is that some people on lithium occasionally report that their emotions are sort of constricted. Maybe that is part of what is going on with me. The problem is, I could never d/c my lithium. I would die. Guess I will just have to live with this emotional death.