That is an easy solution, however, some things have to happen before our two incomes could accommodate this. We are now stuck in an area with no support network, partly because the family we moved to be near, has moved, and partially our unconscious action to isolate. This makes it harder because then both parties are trapped where they do not want to be.

She is extremely fragile right now. My therapist did tell me the other day , very often the party being let go seeks justice and not amicable parting. I ring that bell, and I do not trust she will not go full vengeance. This also pairs with the observation when one person grows and the other fails to or refuses to grow, it's inevitable it will end.

Here is how I see options, ranked in desired outcome: I see it as a very low probability things radically change and I fall in love with the new her.

1) she " gets " it and we amicably separate and co-parent in a respectful manner. From this, our future plans (moving, returning to school for both of us, etc) can be mediated
2) We move back to where we came from. We at least have a large network of support and then go our separate ways at some point with a therapist
3) We separate, both significantly taking a hit to our lifestyles, further trapping us where we don't want to be , with nothing but contention about future prospects of a better income and a better life for our kids.

If we were in a position to separate financially, I would have already done so.
This is where I'm trapped and it sucks.

Seahound