Thanks Fern, that was just a poem that came from my head. I haven't written any poetry in a very long time. probably around 15 years at least. its sort of a journaling thing.
So, I am surprised as well that I wrote it. I am not in any danger. I appreciate your reply to me. I liked your ladder analogy. I just saw my t yesterday. Im in a very long depression that they are working on. If I feel in danger I will come back and reread your reply. I appreciate very much that you replied.

I will keep your flashlight for now.
I hope all goes well with your son. That is not an easy thing to face.

Thanks IZ, I will if I need to. Right now everything is ok.