I don't mean to offend anyone here, but I'm defining my sexuality as "multisexual."

I lean more toward heterosexual in my attraction to the opposite sex, but I've also been attracted to the same sex. That said, I'm actively asexual for many reasons, and I prefer to live an asexual life from here on out. Now, with that said, I'm also sapiosexual and open to pansexualism, meaning, that I am attracted to those who are highly intelligent and am open to being attracted to others regardless of their sexual identity and/or gender/sex classification (or non-classification), respectively. because my sexuality is fluid (not rigid), I decided tonight to identify myself as "multisexual," which I've differentiated from pansexualism because I've included asexualism (which is often considered a category unto its own).

Where did I arrive at the term "multisexual"? I have dissociative identity disorder, formerly known as "multiple personality disorder." The multiplicity or multiple personalities I experience as part of my identity coincides with my multiple sexual preferences at any given time, or, if "healed" through "integration" (however that is defined), my multiple sexual preferences could coexist at the same time. --Talk about confusing! But for a person with DID, or even a person who has struggles picking and choosing, it relieves confusion for us (maybe not for others with more rigid sexual preferences), and it is more freeing.

I'm attracted to whom I'm attracted to, but I choose to not have sexual intercourse with anyone. If I enter into a monogamous relationship (because I do *not* identify as polyamorous), I will show and receive physical intimacy that does not include sexual intercourse or oral sex or penetration, save French kissing, which I'm okay with. Most people are *not* asexual, and most people who identify as asexual may find my preferences too limiting. That's okay, because I'm quite content with being single for the rest of my life while, at the same time, being true to my sexuality.

Was my sexuality born from trauma and life experiences? You bet! Was I born with this? Well, there's no way to know if most of what I prefer is biological in nature, but it certainly isn't hereditary since most of my family members are traditional heterosexuals who identify on cisgendered terms. I may identify on cisgendered terms (as a female), but my sexuality is far from the norm.

Does this mean I have a paraphillic or other sexual disorder of some kind because of my unique views toward sexuality, and because of my DID, and because of my trauma? It depends on which (biased, insensitive, or alternatively, trained and culturally sensitive) clinician is doing the assessment. I prefer NOT to be assessed for any of these issues on a psychological or behavioral level, and I prefer NOT to be pathologized for my sexual preferences and identity. It's MY CULTURE and MY IDENTITY, and MY FREEDOM!

Like microaggression, discrimination, and hate crimes, I refuse to fall victim to others' negative and biased views about who I am. It would be one thing for a person who wants to conform to a different gender/sex or sexuality (behavior), but it's another thing to infringe on my personal beliefs and preferences. It's MY BOUNDARY, and it is not a disorder of any kind. It's a newfound sexuality that occurred after I was infested with a few diseases that I'd prefer not to spread (as they can only be spread sexually), and because I'd prefer not to retraumatize myself with flashbacks and other unresolved trauma symptoms related to sexuality (most of my past therapists would blush right before insisting on a subject change and focusing on nonsexual relationship problems, so I avoided the issue - and here I am today, making up my own mind in a very proactive way).

So, I may be one of few who identify like this, but it would be interesting to hear from others who do as well.