Divorced man here. Also survivor of an abusive ten-year non-marriage partnership that produced a spectacularly wonderful child, now 11. The unfortunate bottom line with an awful lot of men out there is that they tend to equate relationship 'success' with active sex in the relationship. I personally believe this goes back to teenage years, when teenage boys are groomed in packs and cliques dominated by athletic, macho, usually quite handsome boys to view teenage girls as objects rather than humans. If, ultimately, you are an object and not a person, why should I have to respect you as a person? That's not really how I feel about you.

I was raised by a father who treated my mother with extreme respect and dignity. There was not parity in the relationship because my mom ran the show, which was just fine with my very secure father. Proper and appropriate treatment of women and girls was modeled and expected. Behavior was scrutinized. Girls were not objects. A certain level of interpersonal conduct was expected. I ultimately found a wife who appreciated these things. She was a good person. Then, I got sick and she bailed. So, it doesn't always work out. But the principle remains.

I think part of what you are experiencing would not now be going on had it not been for the rise of social media, which I personally believe is a massive problem in our country. People of both sexes have become much, much bolder in the wake of these dating and hookup sites. The bar has been lowered. Instead of rewarding mutual respect, dignity, an appreciation for women's rights, and just general niceness, these kinds of sites and the culture they have created reward naked selfies sent at 2 AM. It's completely ridiculous, IMO. What you are looking for is a man who has not been swept up by this ridiculous culture of sex, sex, sex. Someone who still understands about dignity, respect, kindness, and other decent human values. They are out there. Lots of them. You just need to find the right one.

Lastly, I just want you to know that you are not alone in your basic experience. I fairly routinely receive sexually graphic photos and hookup requests from women out of nowhere. I think they must come from a dating site I was on a long time ago. I am lonely and many of them are quite attractive, I must say. But that's not my thing. So, I delete them and move on. I think you need to figure out which ones of these men in your orbit, if any, you need to delete. And then, move on to the good ones.

Sending you positive vibes! You can do this!