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*Beth* · 04:43 PM

So I saw Dr. W. yesterday. She always starts the damned appointment with the same question, "How can I help you today?"

What, really, am I supposed to say to that? Her question makes me feel like she doesn't remember what we've done in the past, so she's pushing all the responsibility off on me. I would like her to say, "Last time we decided to give 'X' a try at a higher dose. How is that working?"

I have to keep reminding her of which meds I'm taking, and oftentimes, why I'm taking them. She almost never looks at me, except to glance occasionally, because she's typing like mad on her computer or searching for something on her computer. She keeps asking me what I want to do with my medication - yet she went off on me for altering the Abilify dosage.

My dear therapist offered to accompany me to an appointment with Dr. W. I would agree to that in a New York minute - except that there really isn't anything my therapist can do about Dr. W. I mean, the Good Doctor needs an entire personality make-over, what can I say?

Anyway, Dr. W. suggested that I drop the Abilify - I've given it the best I could for 5 weeks and it's just not doing anything, plus when I was at a higher dose I became paranoid and had akathesia. So there's no room to increase the dose without problems popping up.

She prescribed Zyprexa instead. I'm willing to give it a try, sure, fine. I so wish I could recreate the woman. Somewhere in there she has the potential to be an effective psychiatrist - but she needs to be rearranged. And I cannot go to a different psychiatrist because my insurance is for that clinic only. So I'm in this awkward marriage with Dr. W.

Fortunately, I am feeling increasingly able to simply use her to prescribe and not become as emotionally involved with her as I was.
Thanks for hearing my vent.