Hi, I am posting this because I need to mother-effing VENT!

Also, I could use some advice. But, you know, whatever.

So, basically I have really bad mood swings. Now, I am an older teen, so this is to be expected, but my mood swings are like, INTENSE! As in, small insults or even split-second looks can cause feelings of low self-esteem, depression, and even thoughts that I am a burden and that everyone hates me.

A few weeks ago, and this is bad, but a few weeks ago I felt actively su!c!d@l. I was in a bad place, and I had hour long crying episodes at least once or twice a week. I had a plan, and I even cleaned my entire room and cleared out some things from my backpack etc so that my parents wouldn't have to go clean it all later. I wrote a note and everything! Then, on the day I was gonna do it, I woke up feeling better than I had in a LONG time. I felt energized, enthusiastic, and happy. In the space of a DAY I went from actively suicidal to completely fine! HOW DOES THAT EVEN HAPPEN?!

I am now doing a little bit better, but I feel passively suicidal quite a bit (it's become somewhat normal for me), and whenever I annoy someone or cause them even a little stress I am sent into an episode of crying, self-hate, and suicidal thoughts.

I know I should tell my parents that I was actively suicidal, but I don't want them to be freaked out or burdened by my emotions.

Can anyone else relate? Is there something wrong with me? Am I maybe just a hormonal teenager (on the slightly more sensitive side of it?)

Thank you all for listening.

Needed to vent.