Interesting thread Fuzzybear

Are we referring to whether or not we can learn how to provide these things for ourselves? Or for others?

I have heard that if we were not provided these things in childhood, that we are unable to provide them to both ourselves and others in adulthood.

While this may apply to some cases, personally I don't agree with this in all cases.

Because we can still learn them from others in adulthood, or from ourselves.

Which means we can learn to provide these things for ourselves AND others later on in life.

For instance, I struggle with a deep yearning for nurturing that I didn't get as a child. I have never found this in large supply from others, but I have found it from animals, teddy bears (yay!), blankies, diapers, bedtime stories, asmr audio videos, etc.

I think if someone never had warmth in their life - perhaps they need a model relationship. Typically this can be found in a safe relationship - which models these healthy qualities and through personally experiencing these qualities - an individual can then go out into the world with a first hand reference and deep understanding of what warmth may look like. Same can be said for nurturance and conflict resolution.

Certainly nature and nurture both play a role, but 99.9% of humans crave these things... Perhaps we cannot find them in ways that are normal - but that is partly why we are all so unique and different.

I know that seeing the way my parents argued as a child, certainly played a role in how I argued and dealt with conflict in adulthood. But I also realized it was unhealthy - and on the other hand, seeing how healthy people argued and dealt with conflict resolution allowed me to learn by example. Adding this to the mistakes made when utilizing ineffective conflict resolution skills - I had every reason to learn new ways of handling conflict.

So in short - yes - our brain and capacity to learn are always a possibility - but there is alot of effort that is required.

I hope I answered your question,

Thanks,
HD7970ghz