I don’t think you should get involved at all. It’s kind of like codependent behavior. You’ve talked about trying to change some of your behaviors and this is one that ties in with all of that.

It's seldom easy to intrvene appropriately when there is hurtful so-called "banter" going on. But once or twice I've seen/heard someone say quietly, "Hey now. Don't you think you're going a bit over the line?" or something similar. Only thing I've ever said & done in a similar situation was, I thought things were extremely out of hand and said that I'd be going bc I wasn't comfortable with the way the evening was unfolding.. And left.