=( No - i actually talked to my Rep tnis morning and I didn't tell her how work is... i couldn't bring myself to. The Rep knows this woman is "eccentric" and "really likes her" and... i ... just couldn't say anything. After today again, i was really close. I can't stay there... and yet, i need work!

Hmmmmmmmmmm... so maybe my mom in the dream (who did nothing) is really the me who won't stick up for me and stays in this job due to fear?! But i really need work. I can't pay rent and I had to borrow money just to make my car payment.... not to mention the heap of bills waiting for me (like my health ins).... and car ins is right around the corner.... actually, same day as taxes. heh. *hyperventalating.*
So i stay in the job and apply for everything else. Maybe that is my "window". I don't think i'll get that job, but I applied for a teaching position that I think I will like a lot better and I am not nervous with kids like I am adults. I keep trying to get away from kids so i can stay well - but i end up in kid jobs, it's fun, i like that they learn what i teach them, and i feel in charge of that situation vs. an office position where i feel l ike a well trampled mat.