Hi,
I'm alright.
I think my rollerblading years came into play here.
But I made my way down a flight of stairs, about 10-12 steps on my arse while holding a pint.
Thing that's more haunting than 100 plus people suddenly stopping everything they are doing abruptly, just to stare at me regarding my Body Dysmorphia...
- Is no-one said a thing.
I either came across as so drunk that talking with me was a risk not doable.
Or, what.... I was so awkward and have mastered the art of the body language of; mandatory social isolation.. or bad things will happen to you..

Why didn't anyone even ask if I was OK... not even a gasp.... (though I may be biased in my re-collection as the gasp{s} would likely have happened on step 7-10 whilst I was flying down the stairs, and I would have been soaring on adrenaline.
It was just a unanimous - drunken pause/wtf!? ,, then I stood up, covered in beer - literally like a had just had a shower. I tried to pull it off by having a sip of beer and shrugging... but I had poured the entire thing on my head.
And; ~In my experience - everyone got back to business about 8 seconds after my descent. . Likely due to embarrassment at the whole proceedings; which I took personally of course..
On the bright side it could have gone a lot worse regarding the pint glass in my hand.
I made my way directly to the exit.

I was drunk certainly, and I've been having problems with over-drinking for the last two years.
I've been addicted to this and that for a long time, I seem to need something ( a drug) in my life the whole time otherwise it's just empty.

That's mostly due to my Avoidant Personality Disorder style of mind.. the drinking to fill a gap. But today, with the stairs was triggering for me on all fronts. I feel deeply embarrassed and mortified - it just confirmed to me what a social outcast I am - as well as it being a; failed, un-prepared and un-intended exposure response prevention exercise (regarding BDD).

I'm hurting, but surprisingly typing this I'm quite numb emotionally and retrospectively. Probably the beer is helping considerably in that regard.