BirdDancer, Your reply was very well written. It's amazing how much you know yourself so well and how good your memory is. I cannot remember anything hardly. Thanks for going into detail. It's given me a lot to think about. I am still researching the meds and honestly have gotten to the point where I am sick of researching. I think I need to quit for a while and just come back to it. But you know how a bp mind works. sometimes we just have to have the answer right away and it doesn't stop until we get it. so yeah that kind of thing has been happening. I am trying to stop myself when I find that I am sitting down to just surf the web and look at pc posts and I end up going back to looking at the meds. I have also noticed that some of the stuff I have found off of pc's site are b.s. and most likely paid for by the makers most likely. It never ceases to amaze me how differently one drug affects one person so differently than that of another with us bp.

Fern, you are so lucky to be off meds. I know for myself that that can never happen. I know that I have to take meds and if I don't very bad things happen. In fact I know that for sure because I actually tried to go off meds a number of times and always wound up sorry for doing so. I don't want to go into detail about those times right now. You have also given me some things to think about when it comes to the meds and in general. I think your story of the well is sticking with me in my mind that you wrote the other day. It is helping me to have something to think about. Thank you for writing that out to me. I still have your flashlight and I am going to hold onto it,

cashart10 I know how meds can be sedating also. Although I am not sure I have ever felt drunk on them. My mind is terrible at remembering things. So maybe I have and I just don't remember. I appreciate your reply also. Thank you for the compliment. Seroquel seems to be popular on these forums lately. I have never taken it and I don't know anyone that takes it. I remember my grandmother taking it when she was alive. She had pretty bad dementia. It seemed to help her, but cant be sure for fact as she is now gone and when someone has dementia is very difficult to know what the truth is, especially when it comes to medicines. She used to pretend to take her meds and hide them under her tongue. Later we would find them under her pillow. I miss her a lot.

You all make me really think at times and I need that in my life. It is much easier to think and type than it is to reach out and speak to someone. I have a lot of trouble in being blocked and bottled up with emotions.