Ok, Salukigirl, It doesn't matter if he watches it once a week or everyday of the week, I morally find it hurtful when the man that i am in love with, looks to a porn to release any thing. I think you are looking at this like I need a way to control my relationship, and that is so not true! OK, let me get WHY this bothers me so bad. I was young, and have been raped, then when i was 17 i got pregnant with my first child, and the father and I decided to marry, and i knew it wasn't a good Idea, but we needed insurance to be able to afford her. Well, around 2 years into our marriage, i noticed things like porn mags, pocket pussies, and then I found out he was having several affairs with just random women. And he would watch porn when i went to sleep, and one morning i woke up and he was passed out on the couch and left the computer on, and at this time my daughter was almost 2, and she was sitting up at that computer watching PORN!!!!!! I was just sick to my stomach that she had saw that. Also, after he started watching porn, very heavily, he would like grab me by my hair when I was sleeping, and rip my clothes off and do what he needed to do!! I feel that the porn played a lot in this situation, he was learning to do what those people do in those videos, and play it out in real life. well, needless to say we divorced, and now years later, i am re-married, and this marriage starts out with not a porn problem, and now he has porn on his cell phone, on our TV on both computers. I don't think it has to be a particular porn for it to be bad. I feel that this is an unreal fantasy, and it leads to many different things, like in my past experiences. Now salukigirl, If you enjoy porn, then that's cool, people enjoy all different things. I think it's ok, if two people in a relationship are ok with it. But if you have experienced what i have in my past, then you would probably be hurt too. My husband now, is turning to sex to help him with whatever he is possibly dealing with. and when i have approached him when i caught him in the act of watching it, i didn't go in their and start a fight to the degree you think it might have been,i simply went into the situation and and told him exactly how it made me feel. he couldn't even look me in the eye!! every time I catch him, which has been quite a lot in the past few weeks, he says sorry, and he won't do it again, and he loves me so much. But then does it again. Now, I would consider it an addiction if some one says they will stop, and keeps doing it, now he's just trying to hide it, but still gets caught. I don't think me being concerned about my husbands sexual issues will turn on me in a bad way, it will only turn on him a bad way. I want a healthy sexual relationship, but this only makes it harder for me to want to have sex with him, because I feel degraded as his wife, almost like he had an affair, then crawls into bed with me.

Rhapsody, thanks for your support on this, i feel comfortable listening to you because you have said you have been there. I think that we might get through this, but if i am being left alone in the dark by him, and he is not willing to admit that this is a problem between the two of us, then it's going to eventually end. I think in a marriage, I am to have a voice in what hurts me, and I should be able to express that without worrying if it is going to back fire on me. I think it is wrong to just be seen and not heard. In a marriage, you cannot just call it quites without trying to help save your marriage.

And don't get me wrong ya'll, I do appreciate all different views on this issue, i do know I am not alone in this. Salukigirl, I know you are just stating your opinion, and I will keep in mind the consequences, of my very own actions towards this