kumy I am sorry this time is so stressful for you. It must be rough to go through all this.

Self harm does give temporary relief but leaves physical and emotional scars. Having a therapist can help deal with the stressors you are under.

These articles may be of interest
Self-Harm: Legitimate Coping Skill or a Silent Scream for Help?

Self-Harm: The Myths & the Facts | Embracing Balance

Feel free to PM me if you think it might help. I am not an expert but I have navigated the loss of a couple people very close to me. What you are going through is painful but there is life on the other side of the pain. You may have to reinvent who you think you are, but it is possible to go through stages of grief and find ways to cope with all our raw emotions.

please include the following tag in any reply concerning this post so I get an alert to see your post: @CANDC thank you!