I am very sorry you are having to deal with this.
i do understand your concerns re: using clonazepam. I 've had clonazepam prescribed for well over 20 years. It sounds like we've handled it much the same way. I took it when I needed it and set it aside otherwise. I have never been addicted to it. I had stopped it completely cold turkey last Fall.I was able to do so because I had been able to limit/stagger my intake.

I do think it wise to be thoughtful about using it. It can exacerbate depression, on top of all else.

At the same time, anxiety, especially anxiety attacks, can become self-perpetuating if/when they are not interrupted. In these cases, it might be helpful to use the clonazepam, in order to stop the cycle.

I am sorry, I forget, do you use a journal? I ask only because writing often helps me to identify triggers , to identify things contributing to or exacerbating my symptoms.

I had stopped journaling. In recent emails to a friend, I have "downloaded" within my email response(s), for which I am embarassed. I did experience some insight, some revelations, through writing. I did not mean to do this in an email though. I need to go back to my journal!

Iam glad you are here with us. You contribute so much to this community!