**Trigger icon for mention of SI**

Another day called out sick from work.

I only have like 2 and a half weeks left before I'm done with classes. That means: 6 more times of internship, one presentation, and one paper. T is doing everything he can to help me function enough to get through these last 2 and a half weeks.

I am going on an interview tonight for a full-time therapist position. I don't even know if I can work full-time. I am starting doctoral school soon, I don't even know if it's possible. I'm so confused and under so much pressure because of our financial situation.

For months, I have been SI'ing every single night without fail. Pdoc is talking about having me decide whether I would benefit from a few days in the hospital-- in 2 and a half weeks after I am done with internship and school.

I barely ever want to leave the house. My moods are cycling so rapidly. Agitation, intense anxiety, impusivity, depression, hypomania. All I want to do is sleep or sit on the couch and write.

I spoke with T on phone three times yesterday. Today I am nto going to call him because I am tired of being a burden to him.

I am living under so much emotional pain, but I don't know exactly where it is coming from or why it is so intense now.