Quote:
Originally Posted by TishaBuv
“Do my intentions really matter if the result is the same either way?”
That’s a really interesting philosophical question. I think, yes, it does matter. Putting a bully in their place because you feel bad for and want to help their victim vs doing it because you want the rush of power, dominance. Even if both ways save the victim... the latter just feels like then you’d just be acting like a bully, too.
Maybe the two intentions would prove a different approach. The peacemaker would be kinder and trying to make everyone friends. The fighter would be more nasty, just putting the bully down to show their own dominance.
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It does seem that way, at least when I get too carried away with the argument and start focusing more on winning than anything else. On the other hand, when the first bully has no intention of making peace, diplomacy just doesn't really work. At best, the first bully might play nice in order to appear reasonable, and then they're right back to controlling and demeaning everyone in line of sight. They don't want to have friends. They want to have puppets.
And sure, maybe enjoying a good fight makes me a bad person, but I can't really change the fact that I enjoy it, and I'm okay with who I am. Correct me if I'm wrong - I think I'll still be able to intervene appropriately if I don't lose sight of others' boundaries. Of course, first I have to figure out where those boundaries are and learn when/how to intervene appropriately.
