Hi all!
My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 months now. We are in what I’d call a medium distance relationship (about two hours drive) since we go to different universities.
He was diagnosed with bipolar disorder this year (not long before we met) and is on sertraline though he takes it on and off because he doesn’t like the side effects (I’ve tried to convince him to get it changed but to no use).
The relationship has been amazing so far. He swept me off my feet and always cherished me and loved me.
He came to visit me two weekends ago because he “needed me” and “missed me” even though he was sick. He also gave me a painting he had done of myself and brought me flowers.
On Sunday before he left he switched up completely on me, saying he didn’t love me anymore and that everything was wrong with the relationship. Then he retracted himself saying he loved me and that he was sorry.
The past week week he barely wanted to talk to me, got irritated when I checked up on him and didn’t leave his bed for 4 days. I gave him space and didn’t pry. I would just give him updates of my day which he said he liked.
On Thursday we had a big argument on the phone. He said he didn’t love me anymore and that he wanted out. That the love he had for me was fading. He then retracted himself and said that he didn’t mean it and that he didn’t want to hurt me anymore. He said he was a bad person and that he didn’t deserve me.
He kept saying he didn’t love me anymore until yesterday. I was already suspecting it but he told me he thought he had entered an episode of depression.
I don’t know what to do. He has never had and episode when with me before and we haven’t discussed how to manage it.
I care about him deeply and him saying these things hurt me. I don’t know if he means all of it or if he’s just trying to push me away. What can I do?