Well, it's been years since I've been off meds and had a real gauge of my baseline as an adult. The only time I was off meds, I was pregnant, so I was quite hormonal.

I am doing better on lithium and now realize baseline means I can focus on one thought and don't have 20 thoughts or more racing through my head. I can deal with situations that normally irritate me (traffic, my daughter refusing to wake up and nearly screaming at me when PMS is in play, unexpected changes in daily routine). I am able to focus on one thing at a time and prioritize thoughts such as it is not an emergency I go to the store because I am out of cashews and that I am driving and need to focus on that without diverting my attention from the road. I can read and picture the story. I become involved in TV shows. I have started doing some long-due organization, even baked muffins for my daughter for breakfast yesterday instead of giving her microwave pancakes because they are easy. I don't impulsively shop.

I have fewer panic attacks. I take better care of myself, i.e., make time to have breakfast before 11:30 AM instead of putting all my minor chores first and just having lunch because it is nearly lunchtime. Same with getting a shower before noon. I put on makeup. Lately, I have been able to exercise a more reasonable amount and walking instead of jogging - 30 minutes to around an hour, usually 45 minutes. I even go in before that time if I am hurting a lot and actually do the stretch videos I look up on YouTube.

Maybe this is my baseline, but I don't know. I'd love to get back to the way I was in high school (minus the depression & anxiety, bipolar got bad in college). I used to write stories and won medals for persuasive writing in contests. I used to have a razor sharp memory, got an M.S. in Cell & Molecular Biology. I was a decent pencil/charcoal sketch artist. I haven't written or drawn since around 1998.

I have started becoming more affectionate with H, initiating sex or even just touch & hold or kissing, something I remember doing when we started dating but that I haven't done in a long time.

I take a couple minutes to enjoy simple things I have always liked, like the clouds when lined by sunlight or the feeling of being outside before a storm, loving my cat purring sitting next to me, not manic super intense colors/feelings/etc., just normal. I've felt content reading on the couch as my daughter does her daily homework reading next to me. I have started engaging in meaningful conversations with my daughter.

I forget less and can spell words (always was an excellent speller).

I have started to view being a homemaker and taking care of H and my daughter as an important job and not to be ashamed that I am well-educated but not employed in a "real" job. I have been there for my daughter for every single award ceremony, nerve racking spelling bee, math competition, play, school carnival, dance performance, student of the month breakfast, breakfast with mom. I never missed a single one, even though rewards ceremonies could be terribly tedious.

IDK, but it feels like it more the way life should be.