I am sorry you are dealing with experiencing so many flashbacks you feel flooded. I experience that myself and it can feel useless trying to talk about it in that people who don't experience ptsd challenges can be very dismissive and THAT tends to make it worse in that often that is what took place when someone was traumatized to begin with.

What a lot of individuals that survived through many traumas need is a presence that can provide them a willing witness of this and that happened and it's understandable it was traumatic and left that person with a life long challenge of how certain things can deeply trigger them to feel very unsafe on several levels.

Honestly, people tend to have no idea all the responses they have that can label the individual suffering as "you are just being weak". Also, so many people have no idea how embarrassing it is to struggle with ptsd where suddenly something can be a trigger and all you can do is try VERY HARD to contain it so it doesn't somehow show or cripple you so you need to distance as quickly as possible.

I have a very toxic controlling older sister. Both my parents passed away earlier this year and my sister refused to let me have any time alone with either one of them so I could say my OWN goodbyes to them. She has been so incredibly toxic with a desire to HURT me and people have no idea how bad it has been yet they say "don't allow her to get to you, don't give her control, ignore her and JUST". People will even say how people like that don't get to THEM. Yet they don't know what it's like to be just a baby and have this presence FOUR YEARS OLDER just HATING that you exist and take attention away from THEM. What it's like to be left ALONE with that ANGRY child when too little to understand and even know WHY that is happening and WHAT to do about it. People have NO IDEA what it's like to suddenly have that very frightened child just come over you where you are literally rendered helpless until that finally passes and you slowly come out of it. People can't seem to understand how INTRUSIVE this challenge really is and how it can even be utterly EMBARASSING to the point where you just do everything you can to stay away and avoid this TOXIC PRESENCE.

My entire life I struggled with this feeling of needing to look over my shoulder for danger. I thought that was normal, NOT. It's only normal for me in that since when I was a baby there was definitely a presence always over my shoulder often angry, controlling, jealous and bossy and mean. This was in fact my older sister and her toxic jealous and resentful anger was really bad the last years of my parent's lives as she manipulated their mental decline into believing I was a threat to them and how they needed to give HER all the control over them. Just thinking about her and trying to stand up to her, I already know she will get even more toxic and I end up feeling PAIN in my back and my shoulders that can be down right crippling. Yet, I am being weak, I NEED TO JUST ignore her, don't ALLOW her to hurt me, don't let her get her way of HURTING me. Well, there is a part of my brain that is so hurt it can literally take over and cause me to experience things I DO NOT CHOOSE to experience.

I am sorry, sorry for anyone who struggles this way, it's not your fault and I know how hard it is to try to control and how lonely it can get too. I am often ashamed and embarrassed that I struggle this way and how at times it gets the best of me despite how hard I really try not to let that happen.