Hi Ruby,
I'm Garnet, new here. I get intense anxiety spells where I don't want to leave the house. My md gives me Klonopin, but being an LPN, I'm loathe to take it at work.
Anyhow, you aren't being "controlled by medicine." Meds are a "safety net" that keep us from crashing to the ground. We wouldn't tell a diabetic to not use insulin, would we? Meds are a welcome addition to coping successfully and appropriately. Don't be a fraid to use them.
Take care--
Garnet