Dear T, I'm feeling so immensely sad. I'm sad that you didn't acknowledge my first text although maybe it was so difficult that you didn't want to risk saying anything that would sound trite or unhelpful. But your reply to text 2 was really short and that hurt too. When I mentioned to my friend what you had said she told me that of course you would reply saying we can talk about it cuz she's hardly going to say no we cant is she? It made me cry but I realised my friend is right, you're hardly going to say we can't talk about what happened last week. You were replying in a way that a therapist would. For some reason I was making it up in my head to be bigger than what it is, thinking that it was a really caring response when actually it's standard therapist response. I wonder how much of this relationship I've actually built up in my head to something much bigger than it actually is? The feelings of being genuinely valued and cared about as a person, I wonder how much of that is you being a great therapist and making me feel that way when actually I'm the same as everyone else? It all seems pretty stupid now and I'm trying to get used to the idea that none of it is how I thought it was and it's all pretty pointless really.