SorryShaped, I am happy to see you back! Of course we want you here and we want to support you. Who would we be, who have also needed support and help in the past (or present), to say that you do not deserve help? I know that you are a kind and good person, but I personally believe even those who are not kind and good (in all ways) need help, too. No one should have to suffer, and yet suffering is a part of life sometimes. A part. It will not last forever, though I know when you're experiencing it it feels that it might. I do not agree with the nun that unaluna referenced, that suffering is in some way good or that we should suffer a lot. That's a very negative way to look at life and challenges, in my view. We can learn from struggles, but we must try to get past them. That does take work, and sometimes more patience than we'd like.

As far as letting people know when you really need help, please do NOT hesitate. Especially don't hesitate here, of all places. If only my nephew called me and said "Aunt, I'm suffering and alone right now. I need help! I don't want to live." I would have jumped in my car and raced to his home and took him into my arms. But he didn't call. I didn't know that day that perhaps that would have made a difference. We will all figuratively take you in our arms today and tell you it will be OK and that we care. The suffering will pass, on this earth, and there will be a time when you look back at past suffering and say "I didn't know it would ease, but it did."

I found the following quote a while back, that I like. Sometimes it takes a while for the sun to break through, but it always does.

“There is no darkness so dense, so menacing, or so difficult that it cannot be overcome by light.” -Vern P. Stanfill