Thanks for reminding me what I don't have. The ones I thought were close, weren't at all and flaked out or fled when things got rough. They liked happy me, but sad me isn't something they can take. I wrote a song that I dreamt, one of you has read it outside of here, if they still come here. I realized today how true it is. He (myself) was dead the whole time, and she still argued with his corpse. I am dead, though not physically, but in my spirit and soul. The soul does die, even while the body lives.
I may have strayed there and left references that you have no frame for. Ignore them or not.
I'm going to force myself to sleep now