Quote:
Originally Posted by Echos Myron redux
We started talking about my sense that it wasn't enough to come just for connection, and that I don't care about the therapy part of it so much. I can't remember exactly what it was in response to, but T said "almost like we're having an affair? I said "I like that thought" then I was like "I want to unpack that but we only have 5 minutes left. T said "what do you want to say or ask?" I said "what did you expect that comment to elicit in me?" He said "I wasn't trying to elicit anything, I was just commenting on your sense that it was wrong to come and see me just for connection".
We hugged and it felt like he wasnt there. For the second week in a row.
I don't know what to think about that comment. I don't know if he is being provocative, or if he doesn't hear how it sounds. He has said a few things which have suggested mutuality of ET over the last few weeks, only really subtly, like this, but I don't get it. I don't know what he is trying to do, or if he is trying to do anything. He has a new supervisor who is a bit of an ET expert, and also psychodynamic, so I dont know if that is influencing him or if he is just.. I don't know.
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This sounds frustrating and confusing. My T has done this too. Tends to say things which I then look for the correct meaning of. Has said similiar 'It's kind of like we are a couple' . I have delayed reactions and am never able to say 'what are you really saying here? which would be helpful. You seem quite strong and have an open relationship in that you can ask him 'why he said that or what he meant by it'? he made not give an answer that gives you any further clarity though. I do get where he was going with the affair thing though. I think it often feels like I am having an emotional affair with my T (also married) . There is something exciting about sitting in the room with someone and the feelings of connection.