I'm high functioning. I have a job, I drive, pay the bills, go to social gatherings, etc.

My T and I traced my bipolar back to the age of 8 when my father started to physically abuse me.

Strangely, my mother only cared to the extent that my father not inflict anything permanent on me. Instead of helping me cope, she basically continued life with me as if nothing was happening.

She's an outgoing person and she dragged me along everywhere. She went cycling, running, out with friends, etc and dragged me with her no matter how I was feeling. I learned that how I feel it's not relevant and the only thing that matters is that you keep going.

It was through that experience that I learned that you keep going no matter what. And that lesson still holds today.

But it's expensive. It takes a lot of energy to power through the depression, bad days, feelings of worthlessness, as well as the times I was hypomanic.

I feel fortunate that my pdoc takes me seriously. She has not once questioned my symptoms and feelings because like the articles say I look like I'm holding things together.

But the fact remains, I'm on 3 meds for the depressive episode I'm in and they're not working well, yet somehow I keep going.