Echoes I just wanted to say your post really resonated with me and thank you for sending it. I read it last night and it nearly made me cry actually as I've been struggling with very similar feelings - it's not wanting the therapy so much as wanting the connection with T. I also experience frustration and even panic when the session goes on and I realise I haven't felt the connection I need. It's odd as we can be talking about significant things and T is listening and showing empathy as usual...but I don't feel what I need. There has to be some discussion or overt sign of deep emotional caring or I will go away completely dissatisfied. Unlike you, I'm not able to be honest with T about this but after reading your post, plus issues that have come up for me this week around disconnection, I think I need and want to have this talk. My T sounds much like yours in being caring and open but I'm just too scared. I have a lot of shame around needing the connection as well - it feels wrong to go for that even though when I look at my life so far it makes a lot of sense that I would need what she is giving me. It's so hard isn't it.

I can't comment on the ET side of things but I can see how confusing that must feel that he's making these comments., I think for me it would stir things up more, even though it probably isn't the intention. Maybe he's trying to show it's okay to bring these things into the room and talk about sexual attraction? He sounds very genuine. My T is genuine, but sometimes things she has said have inadvertently made things harder to deal with.

Anyway, this probably isn't helpful, but you're not alone and I appreciated your post.