Thanks nammu!

I have a bad feeling about my new job. I can’t describe it; it’s just a feeling that it will be too overwhelming. This is possibly because teaching was so overwhelming. I will be a one to one aide for a student with behavioral problems. That’s usually not good. That means the kid is out of control so bad they need one person to hang out with them to calm them down or something like that. I’m also not getting paid too much more than I am at my current job. But I definitely don’t want to deal with the kid from my current job if he comes back. I can’t handle his level of autism. I know how to handle BD students; I don’t know how to handle violent, self injurious autistic students. So I’d rather have the BD student.

Sigh...I’m just worried about employment in general. I’ve attempted so many times and failed. But I can’t go on disability. That would be even less than I make now and I’d just sleep all day.

I think I can do this. I really do. I just have to have a positive attitude and counter my negative thoughts. That’s what my t would tell me to do.

I haven’t gone to work in two days bc my son’s been sick. He’s got an ear infection and a cold. He didn’t really have to stay home today but he said his stomach was upset and he has vomited in the past from post Nasal drip. So I kept him home. He’s fine now though. Should have just chanced it and sent him to school so I could go to work. Oh well.

Had nightmares all last night

Tomorrow is my mom 60th birthday party. I am still waiting for my brother to back out. So far he hasn’t but I don’t trust him. That would make my mom feel terrible and I would certainly have to say something to him then. I wouldn’t be able to contain my anger.

Hope everyone has an enjoyable weekend!