Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdDancer
Yesterday, I got to my psychiatrist’s office 10 minutes early. I sat in the parking lot with the music on. The sun was starting to go down a bit. I happened to look in my rear-view mirror and what did I see? "I  Myname" written on the dirty rear windshield. I knew my husband wrote it there. I also figured it was a sign that maybe it's time to get into the ole’ car wash line. Or maybe not! I'd be really sad to see that message gone.
Of course, I talked about my dad during my psychiatrist session. I think my pdoc knows my dad better than any of my dad's past doctors combined. He even suggested something for my siblings and me to talk to the hospital doctors about. He said they now have an injectable Naltrexone that lasts a month. It helps curb alcoholics cravings. I had taken the pill form in the past, but found it less effective than the med acamprosate, that pdoc also mentioned. But apparently the new injectable Naltrexone has proven efficacy. It may not stop dad's drinking, but maybe at least cut it down.
It came up that I wish I could coerce my dad to finally go to a psychiatrist. I doubt I'll succeed (I’m deluding myself), but I asked him if he thought Dr. X would be good. To my surprise, he said that he would be willing to accept him. Of course, I think he's the best doc, but believed such an arrangement wasn't recommended. But pdoc said that in this case, it could be advantageous since he has so much information already (though just my side of the story). I’m still not sure, though. Plus, my dad likes to tell doctors what HE wants them to know, which is usually misleading or even downright lies. Anyway, I believe Dad would otherwise like him, but if pdoc ever suggested to him that he had bipolar disorder, that would likely be the end of visits. Note that pdoc would never pre-diagnose him based on just my stories. |
I deeply admire your willingness to hang in with your dad.
' I know it is not easy.
I know it sounds tempting to have your dad seen by a doctor you trust. I realize my advice may not be popular. I strongly advise against sharing a pdoc. It is heavily frowned upon by the psychiatric profession and for many very sound clinical reasons.
I have had some experiences with similar circumstances.
I'd had an actively alcoholic brother. I loved him and would do anything for him, especially when he talked of getting sober. My doctor offered to take him in. I thought my brother would do well with this doctor, so I was excited and hopeful. This arrangement had turned into a nightmare. My brother had major issues. He would go to see this doctor and would make up stories about me in cases where he thought he could escape responsibility by telling some outrageous story about me. He would then swear by his story when later confronted by the doctor. My brother was a very convincing manipulator, as are many alcoholics. He made a mess of my relationship with my doctor and within the clinic as a whole. My relationship with this doctor went from a very helpful, healing, trustworthy relationship to a very distrustful, broken-down mess. Our relationship never recovered and I had to find a different doctor.
I've had an acquaintance who was new to the area, was in crisis and could not find a mental health practitioner to see in a very timely manner. "Helper" that I am, I contacted my pdoc to see if anyone in his practice was able to see her soon. He did get her connected with another pdoc in his practice. It turned into a nightmare! This person's pdoc was supervised by my pdoc. This person was constantly reporting that I was causing problems for her, etc. (It was unbelievable what was being said/reported and I did not have a lot of contact with this person.) It caused major upset at the clinic, as my pdoc was getting reports on me which were not true at all. Her pdoc was getting these reports and continued to give them to my pdoc. It was crazy-making!
My H has a pdoc in the same practice as my retied pdoc. Since he saw his pdoc for meds, mainly, there seemed to be no major issues for me seeing my H's pdoc. H and I were considered as having a very stable marriage, which I was told was taken into account. My pdoc has retired and my H's pdoc had offered to take me in as a patient, as there is a huge shortage of pdocs in this area. This pdoc had gotten the okay from my H for him to take me on. I had declined and I am lucky I did so, as I had no idea of what was to follow, meaning the mess with my marriage. What would have happened with this pdoc had I agreed to become his patient, too?
I have found out that it can be very difficult, at times, destructive, with family members (and some types of acquaintances) seeing the same pdocs. Sometimes, it can be very trying to even share the same practice.
In thinking about this, I have a couple of more stories where things did not go well in sharing doctors/practices with friends/family.
I may be very biased. I am sure, very sure, these guidelines against sharing pdocs/therapists with another family member are put in place for very good reasons. I will never again offer my pdoc, accept an offer from a pdoc involved with my family, help a family member or a friend (especially someone we know is manipulative) into the same practice. I will help them to find another reliable pdoc/therapist and/or practice.
Please take any part of this that may be helpful to you and leave the rest. I thought it important that I take the time to write this out , hoping something I share might help you to make a decision based in your own best interest, which does not preclude finding good care for your dad.
Just my 2 cents.
I hope you will not be offended by my stance. I think you know I care. I care about the welfare of both you and your dad. I believe both/each of you can be properly cared for without risking any disturbance in your relationship with your pdoc. It is better to be safe than sorry.
Much Love to You and to Yours!
