My bf is very sick in the VA hospital. I just came home to sleep, after being there all night. I'm awfully afraid I might lose him. Suddenly the thought of him being gone from me seems so awful . . . more awful than I ever expected it to feel.

For all my complaining, he had one great quality: he loved me. He loved being with me. I stalled getting to the hospital yesterday because I thought he was on the mend. He spent the day waiting for me. Then I got there and he was in delirium. I held his hand all night.

I'm home and scared something could happen while I 'm not with him. But I have to sleep. Please, God, don't take him while I'm not there. I want him to feel my love at the end.