Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdDancer
fern and Wild Coyote, I very much appreciate both of your thoughts about potential "sharing" of a psychiatrist. Wild Coyote, you're quite kind to share all of the stories, which I'm sure bring you some pain, as well.
As I wrote, I am kind of reluctant to share my psychiatrist and was taken off guard when he suggested himself. That's why I proposed Dr. X as an option. However, I'm going to add another element to this by mentioning that Dr. X is my husband's psychiatrist! I felt/feel that there is enough distance between Dad and my husband that it wouldn't be that big of a deal for them to share. My husband only really sees his pdoc once every three months, and mostly to just get refills on his ADD and depression meds. And hubby is a very low controversy type of a guy, and very believable. He also has little "therapy time" with his pdoc (more med check), though Dr. X does offer therapy, too. At least I know hubby's pdoc enough to know that he, like my pdoc, has experience with addictions treatment, as well as mood disorders. Both my husband's and my pdoc were IOP pdoc's at the local IOP for years and hospital pdoc's as well. They now just have their private practices. I have once met my husband's pdoc and that pdoc knows I have bipolar disorder. The extent of that pdoc's interest in me is to simply ask hubby if I'm doing well (likely to know hubby's stress). He, like my pdoc, is an older man and very likable. I think my dad would like Dr. X, too. He's more my dad's type than mine would be. Plus, I think my pdoc would potentially have a leaning towards me. I have known my pdoc for almost 13 years.
Wild Coyote, out of curiosity, do you agree Dr. X might not be so problematic? I don't see my husband's pdoc as getting involved with any drama. My husband hasn't really been that depressed in years. I think he mostly just chats with his pdoc, whereas I do have much more significant conversations with my doctor, though I also have a therapist.
As a shocking aside, the last pdoc my dad had set him up on a blind date with one of his female patients. Can you believe that?!?
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Hi!
I can see you are giving this situation due consideration.
It is best to try to troubleshoot this before leaping.
Yes, the situations I had cited were very difficult; however, I am very happy to share with you. I want to try to help in any way I can help.
It sounds like your H's Pdoc would be the better choice, between your pdoc and H's pdoc. He is further removed from you.
I know we tend to think our pdocs won't get into drama. That's not really the biggest concern. Someone with a different agenda, someone who has some interpersonal issues, someone who can/does create chaos in families and/or in social groups, someone who manipulates, will do the same or worse when involved with one of our pdocs/therapists.
My pdocs were not the type to get involved in drama, and that is a part of why I was willing to take the chance, over and over. The person causing drama was so good at it, chaos in the clinic ensued anyway.
I think the very first choice is to find your dad a pdoc/therapist who is not involved with anyone in the family. I am sorry if I have missed this, why is it that your dad's pdoc/therapist might be someone connected to your family?
Are there other professionals trained in dual diagnosis?
Is there a shortage of pdocs/therapists in your area?
If your dad having a totally separate pdoc/therapist is not possible, then out of the two, your pdoc or your H's pdoc, it is less risky if your dad connects with your H's pdoc.
It is critical, for your own healing, that you always protect your relationships with your pdoc and your therapist. This healing space is very important. From my stories you can tell it took some time for me to fully understand the importance in doing so. I was more interested in helping others at the time and clearly did not protect myself and my healing space(s). I can see now that I was not properly protecting myself and the more "sacred" nature of these healing relationships/spaces. I no longer put these relationships at risk.
This is a very difficult decision. We all want to help our loved ones as best we can. Just a word of caution, offering our pdocs/therapists may not be the wisest, nor truly the best, for all parties involved.
I am thinking of you, BirdDancer, as you consider the best course for you and for your dad.
Much Love to You!
P.S. The pdoc who set his patient, your dad, up on a blind date deserves to be reported to at least a couple of regulating agencies.