Hi!


I can see you are giving this situation due consideration. It is best to try to troubleshoot this before leaping.


Yes, the situations I had cited were very difficult; however, I am very happy to share with you. I want to try to help in any way I can help.


It sounds like your H's Pdoc would be the better choice, between your pdoc and H's pdoc. He is further removed from you.


I know we tend to think our pdocs won't get into drama. That's not really the biggest concern. Someone with a different agenda, someone who has some interpersonal issues, someone who can/does create chaos in families and/or in social groups, someone who manipulates, will do the same or worse when involved with one of our pdocs/therapists.


My pdocs were not the type to get involved in drama, and that is a part of why I was willing to take the chance, over and over. The person causing drama was so good at it, chaos in the clinic ensued anyway.


I think the very first choice is to find your dad a pdoc/therapist who is not involved with anyone in the family. I am sorry if I have missed this, why is it that your dad's pdoc/therapist might be someone connected to your family?

Are there other professionals trained in dual diagnosis?

Is there a shortage of pdocs/therapists in your area?


If your dad having a totally separate pdoc/therapist is not possible, then out of the two, your pdoc or your H's pdoc, it is less risky if your dad connects with your H's pdoc.


It is critical, for your own healing, that you always protect your relationships with your pdoc and your therapist. This healing space is very important. From my stories you can tell it took some time for me to fully understand the importance in doing so. I was more interested in helping others at the time and clearly did not protect myself and my healing space(s). I can see now that I was not properly protecting myself and the more "sacred" nature of these healing relationships/spaces. I no longer put these relationships at risk.


This is a very difficult decision. We all want to help our loved ones as best we can. Just a word of caution, offering our pdocs/therapists may not be the wisest, nor truly the best, for all parties involved.


I am thinking of you, BirdDancer, as you consider the best course for you and for your dad.


Much Love to You!


P.S. The pdoc who set his patient, your dad, up on a blind date deserves to be reported to at least a couple of regulating agencies.