I need the connection with my therapist for therapy to work. Most research does say that the relationship is the most important part of therapy and I would agree with that. If I was not able to feel a connection with my therapist, I know that I would not have stuck with it and I would not have made the changes in my life that I have. My T and I talk frequently about our relationship and both feel that it is in a good place. He also assures me that it is normal to want that connection because humans are social creatures and historically needed a connection with others in order to survive.