Hi!
I am so very sorry you experience such pain in your relationship with your brother.

I've had a very close relationship with one of my sisters. We were inseparable, until we both had settled into life with our life partners.

Although my sister and I had been so close, we were not above experiencing some difficulties in our relationship.

Whenever we'd had a major conflict, we'd each place some degree of blame upon one another's partner. In time, we'd realized we were each blaming one another's partner because we'd wanted to avoid dealing with issues between us. Our partners were the scapegoats.

At one time, the misunderstandings and the hostilites had gone on for so long, we'd had no idea of how to interrupt, and to change, the increasingly hurtful and destructive pattern that had developed between us.

We were each in deep pain. It looked like we'd never overcome these issues and get back on track as loving, supportive sisters and friends.

I was sharing this story with a friend one night. She'd listened carefully.
She'd advised me to practice thinking of both my sister and her partner with Love and only Love. She told me to imagine meeting up with them, embracing them with Love. She even advised me to make a statement, voicing the statement out loud, telling both my sister and her partner just how much I Love them.

These may seem like odd, even worthless practices.

However, in time, these simple exercises helped to change my heart. This practice transformed my hurt/hostilities into a deep sense of love and forgiveness. These exercises tapped into a deep well of Love I'd held for them, yet had forgotten. The prior discord seemed almost insignificant, especially in comparisone to the deep Love I'd remembered I do have for them.

My inner transformation gave me great relief. This also shifted me, shifted my feelings, shifted my stance, shifted my focus to what's most important. I'd experienced a deep desire to connect with my sister and her partner in a very loving way.

I'd eventually contacted my sister. She could feel the change in my heart, in my focus, in my intention. Her heart melted. We talked things out.

We are, once again, very close in every way. We are 500 miles apart, she cannot always attend every family function. Yet, we text daily. We call one another twice a week. Our relationship, our Love for one another, is the priority.

I cannot know the specifics of your relationship with your brother. I cannot know the answer to solving the difficulties.

I do feel your pain. I have been there. I can only share the story about what has worked for me. T he healing in my relationship with my sister began with transforming my own heart.

Should we start to feel hurt or start to feel any other negative feelings toward one another, I hope we will each remember that Love has transformative properties. Love heals.

This is not to say other feelings are not important. We had found we could not resolve these other feelings without sharing about/disclosing these feelings within a relationship blessed by Love. Love is the priority, the utmost intention.

I cannot know the specifics of the difficulties between you and your brother. I cannot know the answer in sorting out your feelings, in relieving your pain.

I can only share my story of what has helped me when I was experiencing similar pain.

Wild, thank you for allowing me the time to share my story with you.

I hope for, and pray for, healing within your relationship with your brother.

Much Love to You Always