This is a very difficult post for me.

Two years ago, I fled for my life during the Tubb's wildfire. This year, my grandparents, my three best friends and their families, and my relatives are all evacuating from a wildfire. This hurts my heart so much.

My parents and my soul sister told me to be strong, not let the fear show, that this time it's my turn to be strong for my loved ones who may lose their homes. It's a high probability. My grandparents are driving to my house until they learn if they have a home to come home to. The next two days will be the most definitive. We'll know by Monday-ish if it'll be safe to for them to go home.

I'm a mess. I'm tired of being strong all the time. I know all my loved ones are safe, that's what's most important. I'm not sure if I'm ready to lose my grandparents house. It was always a safe space for me and I am very attached to that house. I don't want to go too much into it because all I can ask for is my loved ones safe, and they are. I am freaking out. It's a reality I don't want to face. For a year, I lived with my grandparents because I lost my house, now they're coming to stay because they may lose theirs. I'm freaking out.

Please send me hugs and prayers for my friends and loved ones. This is not an easy time for me and I wish there was someone I can talk to.

--LL