Big hugs. I do!
My job isn't high-powered or anything, and I do have to deal with a lot of different people every day.

Bad days are hell (I'm CPTSD), and I go home and want to end it all.

Feeling weird, yes. And not being able to get out of that feeling, no matter what I do.

It's horrible, shutting down like that. I'm very sorry you're in the middle of that hell.

I was suffering badly with work issues when I joined this forum. This place, and some dear friends I made here, helped enormously. They raise your self-esteem, without you noticing it. And you can see through their struggles that mental health issues are nothing to be ashamed of.

Keep talking to people who are going through the same nightmare.

Eventually (I know it sounds impossible), you start to say to yourself the same things they are saying to you.

That you can't help it!

It's not your fault.

Everybody deserves to be treated with respect.

You're a human being. You sound like a nice, sensitive person. You don't deserve to suffer