It is pretty shaming looking back to see what a mess I was. What a difference a couple of month can make. I have managed to stay in my core self or otherwise known as best adult self. So much so that I managed to take a major risk and rent a room in a new wellness clinic and open my own massage therapy business. Well it is not open yet as I am doing all the work leading up to it. I am a one man show doing it all...marketing, insurance, website, social media, decorating, buying equipment all awhile my husband and surgery to remove a new bladder cancer tumor.

I should be a total mess but I am not. I honestly do not know what caused the switch. T says it is because I am dealing with the parts that come and take over in a more productive way instead of trying to beat them into submission. I am going to share with you the process he taught me. Very interesting and it does work.

Step one:
Observational Statement: say to that part or inner critic "I see you are frustrated or I sense you are upset."

Step 2: Use the child imagination (as we are to assume anything that does not feel like best adult self is a younger part).
*Ask the opposite of what is upsetting.
Example: You promised ice cream to your child. You drive up to the ice cream store and it is closed. Your cild is screaming and crying in the back seat. You say, "I see you are upset. If the store was open what would you get on your ice cream?'

Step 3: Validation: "I can see why you feel the way you do. It makes sense." You were excited to get gummy worms and jimmies on you ice cream and now you can't."

Step 4: Ask what is the difference between then (when you were a child) and now (as an adult)
Example:
Then: powerless, no control, was not independent, no job, no money, trapped, could not escape, had to rely on others
Now: I have power, I have control, I work, I have money, I can escape

Step 5: Think and say this statement
"My best adult self is going to handle this."