Why, oh why, is my body so sensitive to medication changes? Eighteen days ago I reduced my Lithium dose by 1/12 (I am trying to taper off if it). All fine for a week so I reduced it by another 1/12th. During the following week I became plagued with anxiety. Then on day fourteen the nausea, headaches, and sweating kicked in bad so I increased my dose by 1/12th in hope the symptoms would pass. Well the anxiety is less, and headaches gone, but the nausea and stomach issues have worsened. All this from reducing my dose by 1/12th. It is going to take months to get off of Lithium!

Sigh ... I also have a chronic sore left hip and now because I have only been able to sleep on my right side for six months my right arm is sore. So last night I wanted to curl up in a ball to quash the nausea but could only lay on my back. I got back up twice as I couldn’t sleep. Read about 1/3 of ‘Gone Girl’. At least I could read. Reluctantly I ended up taking seroquel to sleep and got five hours.

This morning my stomach is better but fragile. I can barely eat, and I can’t take my vitamin/supplement tablets as taking all those tablets made me much worse yesterday. It’s like my stomach can’t digest well. At least I can keep my meds down. Today is an organisation day, and maybe I will re-pot my plants. I know I will read more. ‘Gone Girl’ is addictive.

All these physical and medication issues are trying to push me down. Sometimes I want to lash out in frustration, but what would that achieve? Instead I’m focusing on the fact that my bipolar is under control, I am finally free and safe, and now have a chance to turn my life around. I’m still thinking about returning to university to finish my English (with some photography and journalism) degree. At my age it will be difficult to fine work in the best of circumstances so the degree may be useless. I’m 43. I was hoping to write articles, and sell photos. I need to be creative in finding an income source that fits my mental and physical issues. The Disability Pension here in Australia is impossible to live off long term. Especially if you pay for private health insurance, which I do, so you have access to far superior treatment.

Sorry, I’m rambling. It’s nearly 11 am so I better get my day going. Sending hugs to all who need, or want, one.