the first premise of the post is where I first had questions - "... when [your partner] is misbehaving" The perspective I have on this is as though it sounds like one is being judged as a child. Now I have no idea if this is how you perceive things with your partner(s) but it just seems condescending to me.

Granted someone in a relationship that is consistently standing you up is a problem to be addressed but I am with the others that the approach to addressing this that you've presented isn't really conducive to a successful relationship. It really does seem to be addressing as if someone needs to be punished, rather than approach it as an issue that needs to be addressed as equally responsible adults in the situation it implies that one is the subordinate that needs correcting rather than talked to as an equal about how their repeated actions are a problem.

it also seems quite passive rather than actually taking the problem head on. That never really makes anyone change or acknowledge their wrong doing. The silent treatment from the partners I've had because they were upset at something I said or did never really conjured up feelings of being sorry or wanting to apologize only made me resentful. Even if their idea was in the hope to make me realize the error of my ways at the time, it only made me scratch my head rather than if they said something directly to me about it. Just an example.

Lastly if someone is in a relationship with me and consistently is irresponsible, and stands me up, after addressing it (directly) with them if it didn't change I'd be considering whether or not they were even the one I wanted to stick around with. Rather than change what another person is I'd more likely find someone that fit and respected me more.