Sometimes i am asked "well what would you want therapists to do [If not try and force you into a hospital]?"
As of late I have been seeing images/thinking of how it would look if I killed myself in a particular way. Now I know if I told this to a therapist they would freak out and have me committed, but listen to exactly what I am saying rather than assuming and putting words in my mouth. I did not say I was going to kill myself. I only said I had been seeing in my head what it would look like. No I'm not having hallucinations. It's no different than walking into a room and thinking about what it would look like if it were painted a different color. Now ask me if I like having these thoughts. No I don't. But how would locking me up where I am left to sit around all day and do nothing but think would help? "It would keep you safe." I am as "safe" now as i would be in there. I know of at least 1 way possibly more, depending on how the facility is set up, to kill myself in there. That's just how my mind works.
I just want someone who would work with me and help me. Unfortunately that person doesn't exist, at least not around here.