Would you say the level of desire to kill yourself is always the same? For me it can really vary from day to day. For example in the past it has been a 10 out of 10 yet rather than giving in and following through I went to bed and went to sleep. Once I woke up I was much better, relatively speaking, I was probably a 5 or 6. Is that normal? It makes me feel like "I'm just faking it" and like "I'm a small child pitching a fit", because if i were truly suicidal a "simple nap" wouldn't fix that.