You know, I really, really related to what you are describing, @Mountaindewed. And I am a male. I am sort of secretly obsessed with being thin and have been for a long time. It is some kind of secret badge of honor for me. Not proud of this and have no idea why this is the case. I've always been lean or athletic. I have no scale, so never weigh myself and the number is obviously not part of this for me right now.

Other people have occasionally commented to me that they thought I could have an eating disorder. I don't know. Maybe I have 50% of one. 80%? Not sure. But I do believe there is something to this. Something is going on.