Thanks, SarahS, for all that understanding. I hope you are feeling decent for the time being.

As for what AA requires, I've known recovering alcoholics who felt that the true, original AA tradition was to focus on not drinking, if that were what had been ruining their lives. They resent what they consider a newer deviation from the old tradition that gets into micromanaging every aspect of the recovering alcoholic's life. Someone I was close to was near to dying from alcohol use. He got off it, but does find other substances useful in helping him cope. Since his use of those in no way impairs and threatens his life, like alcohol did, I think it's best he do what he needs to do. I wonder about individuals who think they should devise purity tests for what constitutes working a program. If you joined AA to stop drinking, and you have stopped drinking, then you are getting your goal accomplished. No one can tell you what your goals should be. If some weed helps my friend stay sober and out of that handcart he was riding to Hades when he drank, then his way of working the program is working.

I belong to that latter group you describe who are more productive when they use an opiate, as opposed to getting dopey. I think you make a valid point that there is that divergence in what people are trying to get out of using an opiate.