My Pastor T wants me to have an "accountability partner". Someone I can call when I want to SH and they can pray for me. I'm really freaked out by this because it's such a vulnerable, personal thing. I'm not saying it wouldn't be helpful, it's just a really big step that I don't know if I am ready for. He wants me to think about it and pray about it. He suggested a couple of names. He said it is okay to have thoughts of SH. I guess the implication is that it is okay to think about it but not do it. I'm actually really stressed out by this and what to SH over it. I don't think that was supposed to be what the idea was. Ugh. I see regular T tomorrow. I guess I will discuss it with her unless she is really wacky and bizarre like she was that one time when she didn't even recognize me and kept mixing me up with someone else. If she does that tomorrow I might just leave the appointment.