Quote:
Originally Posted by rdgrad15
I find that there is nothing wrong with waiting for people to come to you first in social situations, contrary to popular belief that you must always take the initiative. Some people are able to take the initiative while others, like me, are probably meant to just wait for others.
I’ve been asked by other people, both extroverts and even introverts like me that have decided to be brave and interject themselves or take the initiative, about why I don’t socialize more. The reason is because I don’t want to annoy people.
That’s why I play it safe and wait for others to come to me. That doesn’t mean you have to stand in a corner and appear mopey or uninterested.
You can keep to yourself while still appearing approachable.
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Sounds like a bit of a cop out. "I refrain from doing this thing that gives me social anxiety - not because of the social anxiety! - but out of respect to others." Uhuh, sure...
There isn't anything wrong with not wanting to socialize (unless it's causing you numerous personal issues, AvPDers and Schizoids). There also isn't anything wrong with not wanting to be particularly outgoing. But if you want to engage socially with others, to make friends, then you've gotta make an effort. At least a little bit.
I have no doubt that some extrovert will eventually come along and adopt you as a friend. They might even be a very good friend. Or it might be me.
However, and maybe this is only my personal gripe, but it isn't my responsibility to somehow recognize that the wallflower secretly wants a friend, and then to pull them into conversation. If you're not engaging in conversation, I'm going to assume it's because you don't want to engage, and I'll respect your boundaries (more or less).