I am so sorry you are struggling, @Deilla. Is there anything nice you could do for yourself tonight that might be comforting or make you possibly feel just a little tiny bit better? Take a bath, watch a cool show or movie? Go for a walk? Play with your kitties?

I have a lot of trouble with SI and sometimes all I can do is just try to sort of change the channel. Do something else besides just focus on it. Get out of myself and into something different.

Maybe I'm not making any sense. In any event, I hope you have a calmer evening and that you feel better. And remember, don't ever use a permanent solution for a temporary problem.

Sending you positive vibes and love.