I relate to this a lot.

when I was a kid (before my diagnoses), I had high hopes too- that I was going to go to university, I was going to become an engineer of roller coasters, life was going to be good

unfortunately for me it didn't plan out like that, I failed school, I got diagnosed with 3 diffrent disorders, and then told I couldn't work

so none of it worked out how I expected, and the thought of living life like this for the next.. I don't know how many years, is very, very depressing. I hate the thought

I know that's not really advice (more experience), but you're not alone in this. that's the point of my post